Orange Juice Is My Booze

I am pregnant. 32 weeks and six days pregnant to be 'exact'. It's hard, it's beautiful, it's uncomfortable, it's 'momentous', it's taxing, it's meaningful.

It's really anything you want it to be.

The one thing that pregnancy is for EVERY mother (or I should clarify- for EVERY mother who wants to ensure the safety and health of their unborn child) is restrictive. There's a crap-ton of stuff that you can't do out their while pregnant. Then, on top of that, is the stuff that 'They' don't 'recommend' that you do while pregnant. Of course, this only means that you want to do them more.

Take, in example, drinking. I am not a huge drinker, I have never been. Sure on occasion one here and there. Now add pregnancy into the mix. Pregnancy is the emotional roller coaster from Hell, and that's on a good day. Your body aches. It is sore. It's uncomfortable, and awkward, and expanding. Heck, it even swells. Things that I am not allowed to post about because I didn't make this 'Adult Only' happen- and frequently. And in large amounts.

At any other stage of life someone would probably say 'Here, lets have a drink'.

Pregnancy does not allow that. So what really, is a pregnant woman to do? She chugs insane amounts of fruit juice, that's what. Orange, is my poison of choice. I'm having a particularly frustrating day, and I start to crave it's cold sweet fruitiness. It beckons from the fridge.

"Come drink me!"

"You know you'll feel better if you do..."

I look around to see if my 3 yr. old is watching and then hastily sneak some into my mug. Mommy's dirty little secret. Of course one is never enough, and at the end of the day I end up passed out in an orange juice coma- not looking forward to the morning after headache at all.

Oh pregnancy, you viscous woman, how could you do this to me?

Oh Arizona, What Have You Done?

Arizona has recently taken drastic measures to try to harness the growing illegal immigration problem in their state. This issue... this issue is so important, feelings are so mixed. It is really hard to look at it and not feel at least the teeniest bit emotional.

I am conservative. I can't help it, it is just who I am. I am so strongly opposed to illegal immigration, and have only had that feeling reinforced after having to deal with the United States Immigration myself (I am a natural born citizen for those wondering). I do not support that Amnesty propositions, and yet- I whole heartedly cannot support THIS bill either.

This bill equates to a civil rights violation on one of the highest levels. I know that there is a lot of focus on this bill 'racially profiling' but that really isn't my biggest beef, as I know personally (and I know immigration and law enforcement is well aware) that illegal immigration happens across the board for people of all races, all nationalities, all colors. The problem I have, is the harassment of ANY law-abiding American civilian, regardless of color.

Police will not simply be asking to ID people who are breaking the law, like traffic violations. They will be stopping people on the street, people walking to the grocery store- anyone, and everyone. Maybe it shouldn't matter to me, but it does. I am not required in this country to carry ANY form of I.D. I, am an American Citizen, and I am 'protected' under the ideology that I am innocent until proven. I don't have to go around proving that I am not guilty. Nor does any other American citizen.

This bill revokes that. It changes that idea. Now ever single person (whether citizen or not, whether legal or not) is required by law to physically carry the documentation that they are in fact 'innocent' in the eyes of the law. Where is the rightness in that? Where is the justice for the PEOPLE of Arizona?

As if the 13 million dollar extra health care tab from illegal immigrants were not enough, as if the added cost for schooling were not enough, as if the loss of taxes from legal people filling these positions were not enough- now the LEGAL people residing there will be forced to deal with harassment and the complete trampling of THEIR rights. That, I cannot support.

It is sickening to me, saddening to me, that Arizona has felt that it has had to take this step. I do not feel that they took it lightly, and I do feel that they have felt neglected by America's government in dealing with this issue. I think the fact that they have 400,000 + illegal people living there is a very real and important issue that they are trying to deal with. How is it that we have allowed this issue to expand so greatly? How is it that we have allowed this to happen to the people of Arizona? How have we allowed it to go on for so long? Why have we left people with the feeling that the ONLY solution they have left is to strip more civil liberties?

Oh Arizona.... what have you done? America, what have you done?

I do not support illegal immigration, I do not support the people who immigrate illegally here. But I do not, cannot and will never support this bill. For humanity, for America and it's ideal values of civilian rights, I cannot.

The (Ugly) Golden Fleece

I happened to mention to my mother that I was thinking about buying some white fleece to make baby #2 a hooded bear blanket (think polar bear here) a while back. Bless her, she went out and bought me some fleece while she did her shopping! I was blown over by her generosity as it included a few yards of black fleece, and brown fleece each. So much I could do to feed my sewing addiction, and all do to her extremely big heart. Really a wonderful and thoughtful woman.

But.

(And there is always a but, isn't there?)

But, ONE of the.... pieces of fleece... is a little odd colored. It is.. a very very yellow brown color. Similar to the color pictured here, but slightly (and I mean ever so slightly) browner. I admit that I have it hidden deep inside my closet and every time I think about a prospective project, I get excited, only to pull it out that the color I had imagined in my mind was slightly better looking then the actual color- and then back in the closet it goes.

It is my shame. Gifts, should be appreciated with the love and good intentions they were given with- not hidden! I desperately want to do something with it. I want to take that ugly,awkward, socially outclassed piece of weird brown-yellowy fleece and turn it into something truly incredible, beautiful, magnificent! I want to turn that 'rag' into that silken princess's ball gown ideal.

I want to do my mother proud, darn it!

How do I do it? What do I make with it? I literally have YARDS of the stuff. Oh please, wont somebody have some idea of what I can do with this?

Religious Indoctrination, Or Looking Out For Spiritual Welfare?

We have had a lot of religious holidays recently, Passover, and Easter and whatnot and as always this has led me to reevaluate what that means to me, as a parent. For most people spirituality is extremely deep, personal... and very individual. With the birth of a child, however, things change. Suddenly what was once only important to YOU and your salvation (whether you believe there is such a thing as salvation or not), leaves you wondering how you are supposed to approach the spirituality of a child. A clean slate. Someone who is entirely dependant on you, someone who is incredibly impressionable.

For some people of faith (whether it be a belief in a God or a belief that any religious belief is false) believe that the only thing to do is to immediately start raising their family with their beliefs and only their beliefs. This worries me. I mean, I see the validity of it- you believe it, you have unshakable reasoning for your belief- it only makes sense that that would be what you teach. I get that. I understand also that some worry about the salvation of their children's everlasting souls and worry or fear that it would be (not only irresponsible) but somewhat sinful for them to not do their part to save their children.

What parent, really, wouldn't want to save their child from the fiery pits of hell if that was an option in their belief?

But I worry that doing so will not enforce any real belief in my child but instead will be... a form of indoctrination. How many people challenge something that they have been told is truth from the moment they were born? How often do you sit there and go -'Wait, is the Earth REALLY round?' How many people questioned that the Earth was flat. Not many did, for many many years. It just was. Do I want that for my child(ren)?

Do I want my children to just accept? Certainly I have a firm belief in a faith. My husband is a member of an organized religion, but doesn't practise, but does believe in God. I think what I want is my child(ren) to enjoy a relationship between them and their 'Creator' that they have actively sought for, found, and forged themselves. And yet, the thought of leaving them alone on that path without guidance worries me as well. After all, I want them to find it, I want them to know, and really faith is an active part of my life and lifestyle!

This is something that I struggle with as a parent, and as an individual who values free thinking. I don't know that I am on the right path, or that I am doing right by my child(ren) spiritually, but I am try. I try to make sure that I put emphasis on science when my son asks one of his millions of 'why' questions, instead of going 'Well God made it that way'. I wont hide my faith, but I will encourage an understanding and learning of other faiths. I will open my home for questions.

I only hope that my children grow spiritually, as I have. I hope that I don't brainwash them into blindly following my faith, although I do hope that they will share it. I am a parent, and I don't know what to do!